Now, this is what my IG page looks like…
94 followers, 17 posts, following 244 with an average of 13 likes per picture. Here’s what it means; the owner has an absolutely boring life with shyness being an old friend of his. So, I was on IG one beautiful evening, I sent a DM to a nice lady saying hi. To be totally honest, I wasn’t expecting a response.
Why? 2 simple reasons; 1. It was random and quite weird. 2. My female friends don’t respond to messages from random guys. Don’t ask me how I know this. But this lady; she was nice enough to respond to my message. That was when I realized i didn’t think this through. This is how my chat even with my own friends look like…
Me: Hi
Her: Hello
Me: How are you doing?
Her: I’m good. You?
Me: I’m doing great. So, what are you up to?
Her: Reading a book
Me: Oh ok. Nice.
And I kid you not, It gets awkward afterwards.

Leaving the conversation hanging on IG wasn’t an option; not a good thing for my reputation (that’s if I have any).
Someway, somehow, I managed to cover the basics; I told her a little bit about myself and she did same. Her responses were usually late. Again, she was nice enough to explain that she wasn’t always on IG (Maybe I wasn’t interesting enough and she just didn’t want to make it obvious). I should have just left it at that but I was feeling an extra dose of confidence that day… I went ahead and asked if she was comfortable chatting on WhatsApp. Hmmm! That one just didn’t go well. She typed something about an upgrade or so. Let me just say I saw “upgrade” in her response before I even began to read the whole sentence.
So, her actual response was “I don’t know you that well to upgrade you to WhatsApp”. I moved my physical being to the machine and got myself the hottest cup of tea just to burn my tongue and distract myself from that particular response. I mean, i thought we were enjoying the chat. Well, I replied anyway.
Just so we are clear, I’m not writing this article because I eventually made it to her WhatsApp chat; far from that.
This is me having a chat with myself about a chat I had with a nice lady on IG and hoping that someday she will upgrade me to WhatsApp.

Written by: Emmanuel Ossom

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